I do too much shit, I’m actually exhausted.
I just don’t know where to find it. A lot of people look at my (our) life and think I really have my shit together. I have an amazing family, two rad little humans (most of the time), a super hot wife, own a pretty successful salon, I have the best friends in the world. I mean, I kinda have my shit together, but I am definitely not perfect. Don’t worry, I own that shit.
I do a lot of shit. Like, a lot. I get it all the time “You guys are so busy, you do so much, how do you do it?”… When I look back at the month of May, I realize I don’t think I mopped the floors in my own house one time (shout out to my cleaning lady! woop!). However, that is some kind of screwed up. We were in the Keys for a wedding (which obviously didn’t suck!), came back to another wedding the following weekend, then we were at a three day music festival. In between those weekends, I was putting in 10-12 hour days at the salon, and (attempting to be) balancing life with kids. I’m kinda shitting the bed at some things, winning at others.
The reality is this: my house is a wreck, I lost my glasses yesterday and it took me 20 minutes to find them in the mess that is my bedroom. My kitchen sink is only empty because we haven’t eaten at home in weeks (also, there is nothing but leftovers from our favorite local restaurants in the fridge), and I haven’t put any of my laundry away- and some of it is still in suitcases- I think. I have dry cleaning that has been there for at least a month, and I haven’t returned half of the texts in my stupid phone.
The worst part? I am traveling again this weekend for a tradeshow. WTF. And then, next weekend we travel to NYC. And I am excited about these things, but mama needs a fucking nap.
My wife’s first words to me this morning were “we have to slow down and just sit on the couch like normal people, I am so tired“… and when I thought about it, I couldn’t even remember the last time I sat on the couch. We have two living rooms- and I haven’t used either of them lately! I have gained what feels like 100 pounds, my skin is reverting back to high school breakouts and my hair might have a dreadlock or two hidden in there (okay, now I am just being dramatic).
So, I am committing to this: I will make dinner one night every week this summer. And I will take my kids to the movies (I fucking hate the movies, but they love it), and I will go to the beach at least one time. I am going to get back in shape (mostly because I don’t have the time to go shopping and buy clothes to fit my chubby self). I will be a better mom, wife and friend.
I will find balance. At the end of the day, I still feel pretty good about my life. Its so full of love and laughter and the best people. I just want it to be very clear that I do shit like lose my car keys and ‘forget’ to put all my laundry away. I am not living the life people keep telling me I live on Facebook, and I don’t fucking want to. It isn’t perfect, it isn’t glamorous, I am a really normal human with a messy house and a forgetful mind and I don’t always have my shit together. And I am okay with that.