No toys in my living room…

… it doesn’t match my decor.

Therefore, plain and simple, kid’s shit doesn’t belong in my living room. Or bathroom. Or kitchen.

Kids have bedrooms. They can keep their shit in there. I just don’t care to look at legos or batman toys or some godforsaken Pokemon obnoxiousness. Nope.

So, while scrolling through the ‘book… I keep coming across these pictures of living rooms looking like jungle gyms. Only jungle gyms that have survived what appears to be a toddler tornado. What. The. Fuck. This is madness. Why in the world is this happening? I truly cannot understand.

Everything from Little Tikes Kitchens to small kids’ tool benches and even bicycles fill these living rooms, and then these same  mothers are the ones complaining (annoyingly and very publicly) that their kids won’t even let them make dinner without ‘mommying them to death’… no shit. They’re called boundaries, and you seemingly forgot to create them.

I guess I don’t feel bad for these moms. You know them… ‘I can’t get anything done today because my perfect angel Lilyrosegardeniamoonpie just won’t let me leave her sight today, ugh!’… or ‘it’d be nice to go potty without two little eyes staring at me, and i am not talking about our four legged fur baby!!!! lololol!‘… like, shut the fuck up. This is actually self inflicted.

See, what you’ve done is not create a safe space for yourself. Why?! What is with all these moms thinking their kids rule the house? Hell no. They don’t, or at least shouldn’t. And they certainly shouldn’t be allowed to take up every. single. room. of your house. A kid who does that is a kid who walks in on you having sex when they’re a teenager. For real. Because they don’t know what boundaries are. I won’t even go into my own kids’ rooms without knocking on their door, and I am the one who owns the door.

But that is their space.


And they love their space…

All of their material things belong there. They respect their space, they respect mine. The best part? When someone unexpectedly comes by, I don’t ever have to freak over “pick up all the toys’… instead, its ‘haha, my kids’ room is a mess, its his problem’. Because generally, the rest of it is pretty acceptable-ish. I mean, as far as having my asshole friends show up goes (or worse- my mother! ugh!), its lets stressful to have to pick up a blanket than a weeks worth of legos. Because fuck legos. They’re horrific, most likely invented by a spiteful aunt or uncle.

And lets be real. Why in the hell does anyone want to even look at those ugly things? Once your kids are in bed, why the hell do you want to look at their toys? That seems absolutely insane. When my kids are sleeping… I want to look at my wife (insert mildly pervy smirk) or maybe enjoy a fine bottle of wine- or whiskey (depends on the day)… not a stuffed dog that my seven year old had to have because it looked like our dog (now picture a very annoyed eye roll)… or a car track… or some monstrosity of a cheap plastic kitchen. Please, tell me how that matches your recycled palette coffee table? It doesn’t. It really fucking doesn’t. Its an eyesore.

It also sucks being the friend of someone who has kids, as a parent, and going to a house littered with toys when yours isn’t. It’s like going to the pediatrician when you don’t have to- you know, a nightmare.

Everyone has their own opinions, mine is that kids shouldn’t be gifted the entire space of a house that they don’t clean up. And you shouldn’t have to look at their shit. You already spoil them enough with things anyway- why ruin the decor in your house and drive yourself crazy? And why risk stepping on legos? They are really the worst.



3 thoughts on “No toys in my living room…

  1. Love this one! How do you feel about a playroom though? Designated for their crap, separate from my adult space? I had one of these in every house. And yes! I knock on my kid’s doors. Every time.


    1. Mine have had playrooms in houses we’ve lived in before, we had the space for it. Now they are older and their toys are smaller so we don’t need that. And definitely, knocking is awesome. Teaching respect from the get-go, I love it! ❤


  2. I don’t mind toys in the living room but they are put away on shelves every night. We share a bedroom so I can’t just designate that as toy-land and let it go. I am with you on the boundaries and have always worked on them with my son, as well as the values I want to instill in him such as taking care of his own belongings, helping others, and eating healthy foods.


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